Rianka asks:
“Does God get sad or is it wrong when we trivialize harsh phrases. For example, if I'm laughing with one of my friends and I say, "I hate you", but don't really mean it. Or "this is the worse thing ever created".”
Interesting question, Rianka and one that I must say I had never thought about deeply until now. I have selected four passages that concern the Christian’s conduct as it relates to speaking that I think will address this issue substantially.
Scriptures
Here are the four Scriptures:
Ephesians 5:4 (NIV), “Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talkor coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.”
Proverbs 15:1 (NIV), “A gentle answer turns away wrath,but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Colossians 3:8 (NIV), “But now you must also rid yourselvesof all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.”
Ephesians 4:29 (NIV), “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
I think that these verses present some very obvious and straightforward guidelines.
Ephesians 5:4 declares that the Christ-follower must not use language that is obscene or foolish and should not joke pruriently (i.e., in an inordinately sexual way—that is the meaning of the Greek word “εὐτραπελία” from which the phrase “coarse joking” is translated). Thus, any speaking that is inappropriate, blatantly or unnecessarily sexual, and/or is foolish and wasteful of time is something the Christ-follower is forbidden to engage in since it is sinful and part of “your old self with its practices” (Colossions 3:9, NIV).
Proverbs 15:1 states that “a harsh word stirs up anger” and thus very simply a Christ-follower should not speak any words which are harsh and/or painful to the mind or body (the definition of the Hebrew word for “harsh” can be defined by StrongsNumbers as “also a pang (whether of body or mind)”). This includes, in my view, those “cutting phrases” that people use that are unnecessarily hurtful and insulting. Those words that when spoken incite immediate and deep-seated anger in a person (usually described as “I know exactly what to say that would make them so angry.”). Those are words not to be employed by the Christ-follower.
Colossians 3:8 mentions that Christ-followers must rid themselves of “filthy language” among other things. The word that translates to that phrase is defined by Thayer’s Greek Lexicon as “foul speaking (Tertullianturpiloquium), low and obscene speech, (R. V. shameful speaking)” and thus speech that is in anyway inappropriate or foul is not to be conducted by the Christ-follower.
Last is Ephesians 4:29, which I think is a very good "general communication verse”—that is to say it provides a conventional guideline for Christ-like speech to follow in virtually all situations. The word translated “corrupt” from “corrupt communication” (the KJV of the phrase “unwholesome talk”) is “sapros” and is defined by Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance as “Worthless (literally or morally) -- bad, corrupt. Compare poneros.” Poneros is a Greek word which is defined by Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance as “Evil (properly, in effect or influence, and thus differing from kakos, which refers rather to essential character, as well as from sapros, which indicates degeneracy from original virtue.” Thus, sapros speaks (no pun intended) of speech that has deviated from its original viture or value—literally something that been corrupted or become rotten. Since the greater context of the verse refers to buildings others up with one’s speech, I take the view that the passage most likely refers to not speaking something that is bad or degenerate that would tear down (rather than build up) a fellow brother or sister in Christ. In my view, this includes tearing down their morality by making inappropriate references and/or hurtful jokes.
Conclusion
In finality, I would say that joking is perfectly fine as long as it does not violate any of the commands above (there are more, but these four passages provide a good overview of the Bible’s stance on the Christ-follower’s language--I would encourage the reader to do more research if they are still interested). Sarcasm is also perfectly acceptable provided that it does not violate any of these passages either.
Thank you for the question!
God bless,
Robert A. Rowlett